I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize