I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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