a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I need water and some morals
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
