C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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