I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
