First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
