You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Farmville is her only friend.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
