I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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