i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
FUCK WHALES
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
