ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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