We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
