the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
