She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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