Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
