im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize