Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
