just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize