Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
