beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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