bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
