I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
