After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
There's always time for handjobs
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
