I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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