i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
