what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
