So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
