so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
