he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
