Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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