i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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