Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
