so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
