If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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