I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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