Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
