Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
