my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
