omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
