Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
