I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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