There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
