You work out of a Hotel?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
