As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
