You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
