i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
