u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
