idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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