and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
