I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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