It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
