I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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