Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
