She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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