This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
