Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
