you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
