We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
