I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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