there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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