Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
