I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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