Sacagawea was the original milf.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
