Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
