I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
