Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
