ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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