so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
