How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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