seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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