so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
