suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
my being single is dangerous.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
