He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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