I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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