grandma shit on top of the toilet
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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