It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
