He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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