She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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