My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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