Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
